I want to crawl out of my skin. That’s the only thing I know that I want to do right now. Crawl right out of my shell of a human being. Nothing else. Nothing else interests me. Entices me. It’s dark in here. It’s dark and scary. I am full of emotions, different emotions and feelings that I can not recognize. I can not label or put a name to. This inner being controls me.
I am surrounded by people. My husband and children. I notice them. But, don’t talk to me; I won’t be able to converse. Don’t ask me to do anything for you; I won’t be able to comply. Don’t make a sound! Shh…just whisper. It constrains me. You don’t want to wake this inner being who has taken over me. Can’t push it. It pushes back. Can’t kill it with kindness. It laughs at me. It traps and corners me. It envelopes me. It is a dark, negative and depleting being.
Hmm what to call this being? My other being? The “Dark Being”
Jan 28, 2018 – just a bad day. Just me.